someone at the coffee shop said the word "rendition" and i said, "oh! i don't write that word down enough."

also, i'm going to make a drawing about the cows in india, soon.

life is hard. stacks of books.

some jerk really did that! inappropriate behavior. gross. also my ghosts are always coming out of the ground.

after doing the drawing of me in my winter garb, i realized how much of a hobo i look like. don't worry, i will do nothing to change the situation.

this drawing was inspired, in part, by this girl in this comics class i teach. for an unknown reason, her natural desire is to draw everything from a bird's eye view. she draws some beautiful drawings. this one has nowhere near the confidence and strangeness that she achieves.

first on this page is the title of a fictional memoir that my friend chris and i almost definitely won't be writing.
the second thing is self explanatory. we all get that way, no?

my mantra and my monster.

the answer to an existential crises, maybe. there is a subtle difference between "give up" and "let it go" but i'm not sure if, in application, that it really exists. it is elusive, either way.
second on this page is some advice to a man.

how is it possible that i can constantly be at war with my own damn self? i am always of two minds, no matter what the question. i can't remember the last time i agreed with myself. and also, cara doing crossword puzzles at coffee exchange.

my grandpa was totally a trooper when he was in the hospital. i love him.

this is specific and general. it is true that i have been waiting around for a very long time for things to make more sense than they do. so, maybe i'll stop with the waiting and start with the ignorance, the oblivion, the distraction.
also, most important life questions i pose to my dog before actually embarking on any type of answer-quest.

interacting with my family on thanksgiving has reinforced this notion for me: it won't ever stop, huh? there is going to be this battle with everyone, inside and outside, forever, because we are two forces each, and we are forcing towards each other.

this is totally typical of my grandma. she is still unconvinced that i don't have a clitoris ring. the next logical step up from tattoos, i guess.

the deep-rooted knowing and the surface denial.
it is not the first time that i've beamed knowledge straight into my head, even if this isn't me and even if that isn't my knowledge.

dyads. dicots.

it is safety and also the thing you should run from.

two small comics. you'll almost definitely have to click on it in order to read my skritchy writing.
mostly, they are about how hard it is to be me. an undertone, maybe emphasized by my willingness to put these on the internet, is that maybe some people find me charming and not just a disaster.

here is a poster i made for Cutie Pies, an excellent local pie business. not to advertise on my blog, or anything, but if you're in the market for pie, check them out. plus, maybe if they sell a lot of pies, they'll let me make them another poster.

on the way to visit eleanor's family in cape cod, my car hit it's 111,111 mile, which was a remarkably emotional moment, for me.

a code? a feeling? mattress springs. a point of contention. a confusion. something vague.

something is happening again. actually, some things are happening, again.

oh! election day! i feel very good about this day, now, but before the election was over, i was very stressed. i woke up and yelled at my sweet dog immediately.

an accidental homage to providence, which is a place i can only accidentally honor. the view from out my studio window on a day when the sky was painted exceptionally well, and the day before it rained only on one side of the street, which is important but i'm not wise enough to know why, yet.

my friend dereck, at coffee exchange, holds his cigarette very specifically.

my birthday party was one of the most beautiful nights in the history of the entire world. we drew beautiful things on each other's skin and i floated above all my friends in blissful (whiskey-enabled) happiness.

small things from under the ground make the best soups, no?

not a sketchbook drawing! oh, my goodness. this one is drawn out-of-book, and is actually a small free-standing triptych. it is about the past and the dead and some possible answers i've brought into existance. and it is very tiny and almost definitely you won't be able to see most of the details very well using your computer screen. bummer.

That monster is less good than he looks. Plus, a dare.

A very sweet moment with my grandpa when I went to visit him on long island. Plus, a tall and roundy lion and the danish word for him, thanks to my recently returned from the north friend, Matt.

i have been trying to draw the things inside of me. this is more wishful than actual, which i guess is a bummer, but i'm pretty sure that the prettier and more ornately decorated your inside- demons, the worse they are.

it was a two strip day! new year (for me, anyway), new moon, new haircut. and nora's grandma.

linus and i have wrath. we destroy small towns, but not farms. the moon is always a crescent.

i have been slightly crazy, lately, really, but even when i'm not very crazy i talk to my dog that way. plus, some words about some boy who has infiltrated my nightdreams, uninvited.

the sentinels (or, um, the powerplant down the street) that watch over me, and in more than one drawing, carry me away from this place. this time they are spouting a very true thing, which i am contributing to. and, also, they are carrying me away from this place.

i apologize if these tiny drawings of what i ate for dinner and of every object at coffee exchange and a made up portrait of me, bob, and angela do not translate to the web. there was a hurricane warning, and they are very small, and my scanner is very crappy. i just couldn't get my pencil to draw big this day. but, that small drawing of asparagus on a cutting board is probably the best asparagus i've ever drawn.

i made a much larger painting of this sketch, but, of course, the original watercolor and spit painting i did on the floor of eleanor's studio is much more together than the one i spent hours on.

we will dance when we are dead, i hope. our ghosts and our bones. plus, that lady got an extra bone because i was too busy talking and drinking coffee and so bob told me to leave it. it adds character. you know?

it's something new i'm trying, this way of painting, but something that's always been pretty natural for me. i have used this concept in a larger painting i'm working on, that maybe i will show you one day. if you ask with nice words and good superlatives in the request.

the first two-page spread from my sketchbook i've ever uploaded, i think. this contains future plans, and current strife, plus, some very enigmatic advice given to me from bob.

anxiety, again. choosing and not choosing.

some crows. i'll put it out there for you--this time they symbolize anxiety, which i've had my fair share of these days. "cts" are the last three letters of a word that was spelled across the two page spread. i will not tell you the rest of the word.

two trees in montreal were exactly one bottom's width apart, and were the perfect spot for me to knit and watch some geese and contemplate the grammar of my activity.

this really really really happens! i saw it at a farm stand. the most romantic thing in nature, maybe?

i jumped into some waterfalls! it was cold. featured in this drawing are dan, becki, jo, and an encouraging stranger-lady.

i went to vermont. and some other places. most people wouldn't want to share car-space with me, and the select few who would be willing i consider to be very important people.

this may not seem like it, but it was about a boy. you know, a heap of skulls and toy cars and forks and dirt means love interest, right? well. yes.

ghostwale made-up folklore. bob requested more to come, so, maybe.

it is the biggest, biggest, biggest bummer when this happens.

i went into a creek outside of baltimore.

iamsorry iamsorry iamsorry that these scans are so bad. i can't stop drawing in pencil and i can't start doing a better job color correcting.

this drawing is based on a weird thing my grandma used to say to me when i told her i was bored.

"take two drumsticks, and drum your belly."

hello, anyone who reads my blog...if there are any of you left.
first, thanks. i know a few people look at it, and if you didn't, then i wouldn't have taken the time to do this ridiculous cheaty massive update.
secondly, i'm cheaty. i cheated. i backdated this for like, six months. i tried to date the drawings as close to the actual drawing date as possible. i scanned back through FEBRUARY. intense.
i had a computer meltdown (i always have a computer meltdown), and my new computer wasn't (until bob fixed it) photoshop compatible, and i couldn't get these things scanned and posted. not that i'm usually motivated to scan and post, believe me.
but here they are! don't hold it against me that it took so long, i'll try to keep it actually updated in the future.

seriously, this lady in france lived to be one hundred and twenty two. oh my goodness. this is the first page in my new sketchbook, which is always a stressful thing. it's over now, though.